A Soothing Balm

A  balm - a soothing, healing, or comforting agent

It's a word that is rarely used anymore, but it perfectly described how God used my friends yesterday, just when I needed it.

After the day before (as described in my last post), I felt run down and really just wanted to sit and cry some more.  However, I had already planned to have a few fellow homeschooling moms (good friends) over for lunch so I could share some record-keeping tips with them, as they all have boys going into highschool or already in highschool. 

 

They all came in with food and kids and the hustle and bustle began.  It was good to get my mind off of my own family and just be in fellowship with others.  

We stood around talking and preparing food and finally were ready to eat, when I offered to ask the blessing over the food.   As I was praying, I asked God to let us be a "balm" to one another.   Why that word came to me, I don't know, but I suspect it was because my Heavenly Father knows what I need before I do.   

The afternoon was filled with all of us sharing our concerns for our kids,  pros and cons about groups and peers, and talking about the privilege of having our kids at home.   We shared our knowledge and wisdom with one another and listened while hearts were poured out and some tears were shared.    It was a sweet time of fellowship that, obviously everyone needed.    I didn't want it to end!  But, the time came for everyone to go home, so we gathered up children (sunburn and wrinkled from swimming) and wrapped up the food, and all went their separate ways.

When everyone was gone and I was left to think over the day, I felt it - that soothing, healing, comforting feeling of having been exactly where God wanted me.    He had given me a balm in my friends.   I felt so blessed and so loved; by HIM and by them.  

As strange as that little word sounds on the lips of this generation,  it will forever hold a special place in my mind, because God gave it to me at just the right time, when I needed it the most.

Thank you, Lord, for healing, soothing, comforting friends who have blessed me with their presence (and they probably don't even know it). 

Until next time.......

Blessings

A Longing for Restoration

If I am going to be real to you, I must be able to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.   So here's the ugly:

Yesterday was a really bad day.  I cried for most of it.  My eyes are still puffy feeling today and probably won't look much better than they did yesterday, but life must go on.

A conversation with my husband David, my 18 year old son, and myself turned ugly, and as it often seems lately, ended with David and I upset with one another.

I remember hearing of this kind of thing when we were first starting out in the baby years, but I thought we would know how to do it.   I thought we would know how to stay together as a team and not let the kids put a wedge between us.   Apparently that was just foolish thinking of a new mom. 

The problem is not just any one of us doing things wrong, it's a combination of many factors playing against us.    Like the fact that I didn't have the privilege of growing up in a normal family setting, where the dad is the head of the household.  I never got to witness the proper dynamics of what a father-son relationship should look like.    So I'm always trying to be the peacemaker between father and son; making sure they are both understood by the other, and I'm exhausted.   I'm done.  

As much as I want Ted and David to have a great bond that lasts through the years, I'm done trying to make that happen.   From now on, that's between them.   They can fight it out and find a way to make it work, but they can do it apart from me - the one they've both used as a go-between.     It's not a good position to be in; you get caught between the love of your life and the child/man you're supposed to protect to the death, and it's nothing short of disastrous.

All day yesterday, the only prayer I could utter was one word - restoration.   I'm not really sure why that word was what I prayed, but I just felt that was what was needed.    A restoring of the father-son relationship that once was, when Ted was a little boy and still needed his dad, and when David loved him beyond belief.   I want that back. 

I want the days back when they went everywhere together, exploring trains and planes and anything else that had engines.    When they were pals - not just two bodies occupying the same house.

Is this the way a family functions when the boys start growing up?  Is this the proper transition from having a boy to having a young man in the house?   If it is - it stinks!

It's not that David doesn't love Ted or Ted love David,  or that they don't get along most of the time.  But, there is a certain dynamic that has changed and their relationship has become one of sandpaper, with someone always rubbing the other raw.

I guess I'm never going to get over my desire for the idealistic family - one where the son comes to the father with serious matters and the dad lovingly guides the son with wisdom and spiritual love; they call each other "best friends" and forsake all other male relationships for this one that means the world.   At this point, that just doesn't look like it's going to happen.

Am I foolish?  Probably.  And maybe I am taking this too seriously.  Maybe we are normal.  Maybe this is the way life is with boys and men.  

But it's too much for this sensitive girl/mom.   

I long for restoration.

Just My Perspective

Legalism - it's a bad word in my mind.  

It confines you, it warps you, it turns your relationship with God 

into a robotic series of "do's and don'ts" 

and it can chase the non-believer right out the door. 

Every religion has it; they all play by it's rules in some form or fashion and it's usually one of the biggest stumbling blocks to that particular religion.    It's also the thing that other religions point out, as being the downfall of that particular organization.

So recently, when I heard a preacher say he wasn't going to vote for a particular presidential candidate "because he doesn't have a record of tithing" I cringed.   

To make the point I want to make, I need to give a little testimony to back up my beliefs on this matter:

When David and I got married we attended the Baptist church that he had grown up in.  This was my first church, as I had just given my life to Christ the summer we met.   It was a church full of legalism and rules.   We stayed for the first 13 years of our marriage.  

Within those last years there, David and I were following all the rules, checking off our little boxes of what it means to be a Christian;  attending every Sunday morning, Sunday and Wednesday nights, Choir members, Sunday School teachers, Bible Study leaders, Deacon and Deacon's wife.   We looked great on the big, check list of "what it takes to be a Christian". 

But, guess what?  God didn't care about all of that.   He didn't want robots, he wanted our hearts.

Through a 3 year period of layoffs, deaths in the family, a new baby, new house, new jobs, God showed me that my relationship with HIM did not hinge on me following the rules of a church, but on what He and I share - a real relationship.   This changed my walk with Him, and I'll be forever great-full for those trials that brought me to a new understanding of who He is.  

Since then, God has opened my heart in one area that is controversial at times - giving.   Some tithe, some give.  I am a giver.   

I can almost hear the audible "gasp"!  "You don't tithe? You'll never make it into Heaven"!  I didn't say I don't tithe - I said I give.    Let me explain the difference:

I have found that some people that tithe are afraid.  They write out that check each week, expecting to be blessed by God "or else".   How do I know this?  I've heard them say things like: "If I don't tithe, God won't protect me."  or "I don't know why all of this (trials) is happening to us; we tithe."   Or, the worst of the statements that stuck with me (a preacher) "If you don't give God your tithe, He'll take it from you somehow."    Well then - let's tithe so God won't strike us down and destroy all our big appliances!   Good grief!

So, as my relationship with God began to evolve; going from checking off the boxes, to being real, I began to see the difference in tithing and giving.   For me it looked like this: rather than writing out that check each week for a specific amount, I began to open my hands (and eyes) to what was going on around me.    When I did, I saw missionaries, friends in need, church needs, family needs, and much more.   I began to bless people with the money we had and in the process, I became more generous.  

And in that process, God blessed us immensely.   

We still gave to the church, but not in a robotic manner, but in a "want to" manner.   We would give to the music fund or the youth fund or whatever God laid on our hearts to do.   I would open my wallet on Sunday morning and give, rather than fill out an envelope and worry about my tax deduction. 

You see, what good is it to tithe, if your mind is worried about your tax deduction rather than blessing God with your generosity?  How many of you would dare to put your tithe in the offering plate each week and never fill out an envelope?  Could you do it?  No one would know that you gave except the person sitting next to you or the guy passing the plate.   You would get no credit for that money or the act of giving; just your own satisfaction that God knows what you've done.    At our church, you would never be elected as a deacon, because to be a deacon you have to have it on record that you tithe.   Would you be willing to give up your title as "tither"?

So, now you see why I was appalled at the preacher's statement about not voting for someone, just because they have no public record of tithing?  Ridiculous!

The particular politician he was referring to is a known Christian.   We don't know what he gives.   We don't know that he doesn't send his money to a family in need, or that his wife doesn't fix a meal for a single mom each week, or if they bless a charity with a huge donation - anonymously each year.   We don't know that he doesn't place his tithe in the plate without fanfare.  WE DON'T KNOW!  And how pompous to think that we do know!   And further more - we're not supposed to know.........

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them.  If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.  So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men.  I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."    Matthew 6:1-4

Just my perspective.....

SchoolRoom Project

These are pictures of my schoolroom project in progress.    What's missing in the middle, above the desk, is a chalk board and maybe some other learning tools (not sure what).

How this came to be:
For the past few years, Collin has been doing his school work in his room; working independently.   This was a necessary step in our journey, with the goal of accomplishing two things - getting him to rely on me less and giving me the time to focus on getting Ted graduated.     Now that I've accomplished the graduation, I need to focus on working with Collin a little more.

But, because I have an aversion to clutter, I can't walk in to Collin's room and think clearly (he and I have  differing opinions about what the word "clean" means) so I'm moving our "school" into the diningroom.

This has actually been a dream of mine for a couple of years now.   When you're living in an old farmhouse, there is not much room.   Everything has a place and you can't really deviate from the plan.   BUT, being the hardheaded woman that I am, I keep trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, so to speak!  In other words, if there's a will - there's a way!   So, I kept trying to figure out what to do with this diningroom that sits in the middle of our house and yet, doesn't really get used as much as it should.   I've played with different ideas, bought new tables, moved things around, but nothing ever seemed to work.  

Then, a few months back, the idea came to me to sell my china hutch, which took up so much room, and put some smaller pieces in there and create an old fashioned space for school!  Since I knew I wanted to start doing school with Collin in a more (uncluttered) centralized location, this was the perfect plan!    Now I just needed the perfect shelves and I knew that would be a challenge.

It's kind of like when you need that perfect white blouse, so you go to the mall and look and look and never find one (because you NEED it), but when you're not looking for something specific, they seem to pop out at you in abundance!    Well - welcome to my shelf-buying situation!  I tried antique stores and online searches, looking for exactly what I had in my mind, and couldn't find it.

So a few weeks ago, I came up with a little Saturday-morning-date for David and I;  a trip to the local Trade Days.    And believe it or not - the first aisle we walked down, we came upon these two shelves and the minute I saw them........I knew they were meant for me!  We bought them right then and never even walked down another aisle!  Now, that's the way to shop!

So, here we are - the new shelves in place, just waiting on me to do something creative with them.   Hopefully this weekend I will have time to play around with ideas and get all the school books onto the shelves.

I want to incorporate everything into these two shelves; having once centralized location for "all things school".   I'm still trying to figure out a system akin to workboxes, but for a 7th grade boy.   This will determine how I set up the shelves, as well as what I utilize the space on the wall for.  I know I want a board to write on, but I also have some other ideas that might use that space, for a workbox type of system, but using tags that hang and are moved as each subject is finished. 

So, fellow HS moms, if you have any wonderful ideas I would sure like to hear them!

I'll let you know how it all turns out!

Blessings,
Debbie

The Great Deceiver - Multitasking!

We've all been deceived!  We've been lied to and manipulated into thinking that carrying on multiple tasks at one time will make us successful.   Don't believe it!


Sure, it's great to throw a load of towels on the couch and fold them while watching an episode of your favorite show.  And you're considered talented if you can cook a three course meal, feed the baby and talk on the phone all at the same time.   But, if you're like me, you'll start the three course meal, walk away to put the clothes in the dryer, get sidetracked by the toilet that needs to be cleaned, forget you  have a pot on the stove and come around the corner just as the macaroni is boiling over the side of the pot!   So you see?  Multitasking is hazardous to your health!

Let's take the dreaded subject of texting while driving:  this is one of the most prevalent hazards of this multitasking society so far!  Seriously folks - people are dying every day because they can't put down their phone long enough to drive across town!    Forget the lady who used to put on her make-up while driving to work!  People these days are conducting business, making appointments, booking their vacation - right from their front seat and behind the steering wheel!   It's ridiculous!

Let me just share what it's done for me.  For starters, I can't sit down and just watch TV anymore; no, I've got to have something to do with my hands.  I can't just stand at the stove and daydream anymore; no, I've got to find another job to keep me busy while the food cooks.   I can't just read one book, start to finish anymore; no, I've got about 5 books going at the same time.   I don't know why I do this.  I guess I'm afraid I will miss something if I don't read the latest, greatest, book right NOW!  The problem is, after a while they all start to confuse themselves in my mind and I start quoting the right quote but from the wrong book!   And, I can't tell you the last time I started a project and actually finished it completely, before starting another one.

If you look around, there are others who are functioning just like me! (And I use the term "functioning" lightly).  People are scatterbrained these days.   I feel like we all think in short snippets, like we're on FaceBook or Twitter, and we can't think in terms of paragraphs anymore.    It affects my writing (creatively) because I'm so used to writing short, little scenarios of my life, instead of taking my time and elaborating on the good things going on.    But those venues are fast-paced and that's what people want these days.

It effects relationships.  People are so busy running around, getting the absolute most they can squeeze out of each day, that no one has time to just visit anymore.   Have you tried getting a few friends together, all on the same day, lately?   Visiting used to be something that people looked forward to - it's where friends connected, prayed, and encouraged one another.   Now we have to make appointments with our friends, just to have a cup of coffee.    We have to make "play dates" for the kids because, their parents have signed them up for 5 different activities all in the same week.   It's like we're on the fast track to who-knows-where, but we're afraid we'll miss out if we don't keep going!

All humor aside folks, this busyness is killing us. 

I don't know about you, but I'm purposing to slow down a bit.   I want to read a good book, start to finish, and let it linger a while before I start a new one.   I want to have a simple calendar so that when a friend calls and needs to chat, I'm available, or when God sends a divine interruption into my day, I won't fall apart because it wasn't on the schedule.  I want to do a good job on each task, not an "ok" job on 5 different things at the same time.  

Just like we all command "quality" work when we hire someone to build something for us, we should be about doing quality work, as well.   Whether serving at church, in the home, at work, or wherever God calls us; if we are doing all things only half way, then we are not about quality, we're about quantity. 

So I challenge you to go a little slower this week.  Pay attention to details; do a great job instead of a "fitting it all in" kind of job.      Work everything and every task, as if "working for the Lord" (Colossians 3:23), not like you're running a race and you have to be in first place.

Take time to care about what you're doing and do it well.

"The plans of diligent lead to profit 

as surely as haste leads to poverty."  

Proverbs 21:5

Until next time,

Blessings:)

Getting my mind back

I think I'm finally recovering from my emotional roller coaster that I was on with my dad.  The combination of sitting at the hospital for 2 days and traveling and worrying, had me very worn out last week.   But, things are back to normal around here, so my brain is slowly returning.

Yesterday I did a big shopping trip to CVS.  I saved $99.99 by using coupons and rolling my Extra Bucks all on that trip, so that was a 55% savings.  However, as I've stated before, when you watch the Extreme Coupon show and see them saving 90%,  it kind of puts a damper on the measly 55% you've accomplished.   Oh well, that's still a great savings.  I'll just have to keep shooting for that 75% goal!

I need to be working on school prep for next year but I'm just enjoying a little downtime.   Trying to enjoy the summer a little before I jump into organizing.   The funny thing is - I'm not great at relaxing!

Last night I stopped all busy work to watch The Bachelorette (I know, I know) and I found myself sitting on the edge of the couch, not taking time to actually relax.  It's like I needed to get up during every commercial and go do something.   That's the way I've always been.  I don't like just sitting and doing nothing.

Today I'm treating myself to a pedicure and manicure, then taking Collin to violin lessons.   Pedicures have to be one of my all-time favorite treats.  It seems lazy not to do it yourself, but every now and then, it's nice to be pampered.

I'm hoping to get some swimming in this summer.  I would hate for that hawk to be the only one enjoying the pool!

Tune in later this week for some pictures of some of the projects we've got going on around here.

Until then,
Blessings!

The Pool

At least someone is getting some use

out of the pool 

this summer.

Just Before Father's Day

This week turned out much different than I planned.   It started out normal - well, sort of.   Collin and I were traveling with David to Corpus for a business trip.  I had plans to spend two days lounging around the pool and basically letting Collin call the shots for this trip.   Little did I know that I would spend 3 days visiting my dad in the hospital!


About a week ago, my dad fell and broke his hip (although he didn't know it was broken).   Because he was in so much pain, he quit eating and basically sent himself into a downward spiral, that almost killed him.  

My dad suffers from Celiac disease, which means he's highly allergic to Gluten.   When you suffer from Celiac, your body becomes depleted of the nutrients it needs to thrive.   He has gone for so long without proper care of his body, that just a few days of not eating, took him from somewhat healthy to a very dangerous state. 

Thankfully, through prayer and coaxing from the family, he agreed to go into the hospital and get the care he needed.

We are home now and I'm exhausted!  The emotional drain when you are watching a loved one sink to the bottom, is exhausting! 

I'm spending this weekend getting laundry done and my house back to a good place.  

I was so glad to see my little house!  Makes you appreciate things so much more when you go through a scare.

Be careful what you complain about.   God has a way of putting things back into perspective!

A Simple Prayer

During my Bible Study this morning, I came across this simple prayer:

"Father, time is short and I know this life has only enough moments for me to accomplish Your will. Show me how to live each day for You and to share Your love with those around me.  

In the name of Jesus, Amen."

(The Daily Focus)

Have a blessed day my friends.

Debbie 

Guard Your Marriage

 22 years and counting!

Today my heart is telling me to share a message with you about guarding your marriage.  I'm not writing from a personal experience here, just an observation of what I see all around me.

I have confessed before that I am a Reality TV fan and I love music and biographies.    I've recently been watching the show about Shania Twain, the country music star, whose marriage fell apart when her best friend and confidante had an affair with her husband.

The show has highlighted Shania's journey back to her singing career, after she was devastated over the breakup of her marriage.   In the show, she tells the story of confiding in her best friend (who was also her personal assistant) that she sensed a change in her own relationship with her husband.   The friend would comfort Shania by assuring her that all was well and that she personally had not noticed Shania's husband acting any different.    Of course, later on, Shania would discover that the very person she confided in, was indeed, stealing her husband right out from under her!  Apparently, the friend wanted the life that Shania had and thought that she would start with the hubby.
This may be TV, but it's an all too real occurrence!

Besides this one example, I can think of real life scenarios and situations where a "best friend" has become the mortal enemy of a marriage.

You see ladies, we have to guard our marriages.   We need to choose our friends carefully.  We need to have open eyes and ears and never allow ourselves or our husbands to be put in situations that lead to temptation.    In Shania's journey, a mentor encouraged her to accept the responsibility of picking a "friend" with a not-so-good character.   At first, I was a little offended for her, that someone would insinuate that she should take responsibility for what the friend did.  However, I think there is a valid point to be made here.  We do need to take responsibility for who we expose our family to, as well as,  who we expose ourselves to.

We also need to not put our husbands or ourselves in positions of being with "friends" alone.   Sometimes I hear of situations where a family will invite a friend into their home, who maybe has been recently divorced and having a hard time.   Why??  This calls for discernment and common sense!

If a woman has been recently divorced and is in financial hardship or has a situation that calls for help, don't invite her to come sleep on your couch!  There's nothing wrong with helping her find an appropriate place to stay - such as with a single lady in the church or in someone's garage apartment.   But, don't play the savior and put your family at risk.

This may sound selfish, especially as a Christian (we're supposed to be all about helping!) but, discernment and wisdom require action on our part too.

Another scenario would be lending out your husband to others.  Ever have a single woman call your home to enlist the help of your man?  Be on guard ladies!  Where he goes, you go!  Not because you can't trust your man, but because you are guarding what's priceless to you.   Would your husband want you going over to a single man's house and fixing his dinner?  I don't think so! (This would definitely be a red flag, if he did!)

Just as tempting, are close friendships that we form with other couples.   I remember hearing of a situation once, where two couples who were constantly together socially - they played cards every weekend, took trips together, etc., and one of the wives was constantly flirting with the other man.  Ladies!!  Don't take this as harmless!  And, likewise, don't stand for your husband's eyes lighting up when your friend walks in the room either! 

Pray for wisdom and discernment.  Choose your friends carefully and limit your time with anyone that doesn't respect you as a couple.   That goes for you too, in relation to the man of your friends.   Whatever you do - don't flirt and play around with flirty eyes and jokes.    This makes you the other woman!   Also, don't demean your spouse in front of others.  Making your spouse the butt of your jokes is disrespectful and can send out the wrong message to those around you.   Control your mouth.


Set boundaries with your husband ahead of time and talk about concerns you might have.  Agree on what's appropriate and most importantly, build a visible hedge around your marriage.

By this I mean, that if a person is tempted to step in and try to become something of importance to one of you, if you have a united front and are known for your love for one another, it will be much harder for someone to step across that line.    Guard your marriage.

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid wife, I say this:   I will be on guard.  I will guard my marriage like the jewel that it is and my man like he is my prince!  And I encourage you to do the same.

Blessings my friends,
Debbie

"The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it."

Proverbs 27:12

Great Gift!

One of the great highlights of going to a homeschool conference is walking the aisles of the vendor hall!  In fact, truth be told, most moms would prefer this to anything else offered there.

Not only did I pick up a few extra books I needed, but I was able to take care of a few gifts I needed as well, when I came across this great little corner booth called Tabletop Truths. 

The bright colors caught my eye first, but when I stopped to look, I saw that these placemats were more than just colorful and bright, but shared the gospel too!   I instantly fell in love with them and had to buy a few (7 to be exact)!  

The two ladies at the booth were really friendly and patient as I tried to decide which ones I wanted and I told them I would share these on my blog.....so here they are!

 

 The Armor of God

 Days of Creation

 The Fruit of the Spirit

The Gospel

A few members of my family will be receiving some of these and the rest I'm keeping for our table here at home.   The quality is top-notch and on the back the mats say "Jesus loves me".  

I hope you will check these out for yourselves.  You won't regret it!

There is a button on the side panel of this blog or you can go to their website at:

www.TabletopTruths.com  

Enjoy!

Some much needed inspiration

Last weekend I attended the Gulf Coast Homeschool Conference with my friend Jessica.   We have done this several times over the years and always have such a great time looking at curriculum, sharing ideas, and attending workshops.  

We have shared this journey of education for about 10 years now and have tried everything under the sun, as far as methods, curriculum, programs, etc.    We've had a wonderful time advising each other and keeping each other on track.   Every homeschool mom needs support for the long haul, and that's exactly what we've been for one another.     We met when our oldest boys were in 1st and 2nd grade and now they are in 12th and graduated!

But, this post is really supposed to be about all the inspiration we got at the conference, so here goes:

The first workshop we attended was called Nutrition 101: Choose Life!   I wanted to attend this one for two reasons: one - I read some reviews on this course and it looked really good.    And, two - I need help in the nutrition department so why not get a free lesson while it was being offered?

Sera Johnson was the speaker and she did an excellent job of sharing her journey with us and making the material and the motivation behind the book, real to us as moms.    Not only is this a "how to eat more nutritiously" book, but it is also an anatomy book as well as a cook book!  This curriculum not only tells you what to eat, in order to be healthy, but it links the foods to the functions in the body, so the kids can learn exactly why they should eat healthier.    As an added bonus to all of the great information, there are recipes included in the daily work, so that each week you and your kids can take part in making a healthy dish to eat.    This works wonders in getting picky eaters to try new things.

You can find Sera (on video) and the curriculum available on her website at:
www.GrowingHealthyHomes.com


The next workshop we attended was "10 Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know" by Dawn Hudson from My Father's World.

This was a very practical lecture, but even as a 13 year homeschooling veteran, I still needed to be reminded of the basics!

Here are some of her main points:

1. Work on discipline issues in the summer!!  Don't wait until school starts back to get your kids to mind you.   Take the summer to implement the "no whining", "1st time obedience", and  "no interrupting" rules.  

2. "Plan your work, and work your plan".   Use the summer to write up your plan for the school year.  If you can't plan for a year, then plan for a portion of the year such as a semester or 6-9 weeks.   
Start introducing 1-2 subjects about 3 weeks before the actual 1st day of school.   Only do about 1 hour the first week or two, focusing on one subject.   The 2nd - 3rd week, add one more subject and a little more time, not making a huge deal out of "school."     When the 1st official day arrives, your kids have already had time to feel comfortable with a few of the subjects and a routine and hopefully, will be less reluctant to add a few more subjects.  Whatever you do, don't set your expectations high for the first few weeks!  Every homeschooling mom will tell you that nothing ever goes exactly as planned!

3. On the first official day of school - plan a fun day and start some traditions saved only for that day.  Mrs. Hudson said that her 1st day tradition is making tie-dyed shirts and going out to lunch.    Her husband prays over the family that first morning and they also measure all the kids, so they can see how much they have grown by the end of the year.

4. Set a start time and an end time for your school day! Can you imagine being told to do something but no one ever giving you a time frame?  It would seem like eternity!!  When planning your schedule for the year, give an official starting time and ending time to the school day.   When the end is nearing, give a 30 minute warning so they can start finishing up.  When the "bell rings" the day ends and school is out until the next day.   Any work that was not finished gets pushed to the next day or to the free day or weekend, depending on how you work your schedule.   Working on a weekend or free day would be considered a consequence for not getting your work done.   **Establish these rules before the year starts**  **Also, here is a tip for scheduling:  Instead of locking the dates down in your planner, use "Day 1"  "Day 2", etc.    This will eliminate the problem of having to change dates.   If you are following the 180 day/year plan,  then when you complete 180 days, you are done!

5. Be firm about your school hours.  I know everyone feels differently about this, but your kids deserve your focused time during the set hours.   Unless there is something that can't wait, try to avoid errands, phone calls, and anything else that will cheat your kids out of that time with you.   Depending on their age, you don't necessarily have to stay by their side, but make school the priority during this time and try not to get distracted by hobbies, chores, etc.     Of course, every household will be different and the needs and demands will be different.   Do what works for your kids and your household.   That's the beauty of homeschooling!  However, remember that this is your job and you need to do your best at it, just as the kids do.   If you're leaving the house or indulging yourself in hobbies or other distractions while they are working, you may not get the best results out of your kids!

6. Try to plan a 4 day week and use that extra free day for errands, Dr. appts,  household care, etc.   This will make your life much easier.     We have double duty as homeschool moms!  We don't have a bunch of free time to do chores, grocery shop, etc.   We have to fit it all in, with the kids in  tow 24/7!  So, that extra day will help out tremendously!    **Most curriculums are made with about 150 lessons, so consider that when scheduling your 4-day week plus vacation, etc.   Just divide up the lessons into the school days and figure it out.   There are as many ways to schedule homeschooling as there are choices of books!! You know how many choices that gives you!!  If you go to co-op, then you are really only left with 3 days of at-home school, so this will change things too.   I guess that's one of those things you have to weigh when getting involved with outside groups.

7.  MOST IMPORTANTLY - Don't copy and compare!!  Your home or school will never look like your friend's or the supermom who runs the co-op!! So don't set yourself up for disappointment by comparing your kids, home, school, abilities, etc. with anyone else.   You will just make yourself crazy trying to fit into someone else's mold.     

The keys to success are efficiency and consistency.   The Lord gave me these two words several years ago when I was praying about how to improve our schooling efforts.    Am I always 100% at either one of these?  No.  Thankfully we get do-overs with some things, and I am always trying to improve!

Homeschooling is such a great blessing, but it is work.   I hope some of these basic guidelines will help you as you start thinking about next year.   

Remember, prayer is your friend!  God wants to guide you, just don't forget to ask!

Blessings!

Debbie

Trying something new

Recently I've been using menus from the meal website emealz at  mealtimemakeover.com   This is a great site that puts together menus based on sales going on at different grocery stores, as well as offering Gluten Free and Low Carb menus.

For instance, they take the sales going on at Krogers and create a menu based on using some of the sale items that week.   For the Gluten Free and Low Carb, the menus are not linked to any particular store.

One day a week they post the new menu along with the grocery list and you simply print it out.  There is a charge for the membership, which is $15 for 3 months.  You can renew or not, after your initial time frame.

Initially I was subscribed to the Kroger menu, since this is where I do the majority of my shopping, but I have changed my plan to the Gluten Free menu for personal reasons.

My dad has suffered with Celiac Disease for over 10 years now, which means he can have absolutely no gluten - ever!  Of course, there is always the possibility that one of his children could be diagnosed and share in this disease as well.   I don't show any particular symptoms at this time, although I have had digestive problems all my life, but I think stress and worry are more the culprit than gluten.

However, I've also heard and read reports that gluten can be linked to matters of the mind, as well, such as "foggy brain".   This is a funny term, but oh! how I can relate to having a foggy brain at times!

So I thought I would try some GFree meals and see if I could get my family on a healthy eating habit, without making a big deal out of the change. 

Usually when I take part in a menu that's been created by someone else, there will always be one or two meals that I know I won't like, so I don't even try them.   But this time I was determined to try everything on the menu, to get the experience of trying new things.  So I spent 2 hours in the store yesterday, shopping for specific items on the list.   They put brand names on the items, if necessary, in order that you are truly buying GFree and not making a mistake.    So this takes a while to find everything on the first trip.   I'm sure that once you've shopped this way and become familiar with some of the items, the trip would not take so long.   (Add couponing along with this and you better be prepared to stay awhile)!

For the first time in a long time, I was actually excited about cooking last night!  The meal I chose was:

Talapia with Mango Salsa

Crunchy Baked Asparagus

Brown Rice

It took a little prep time, in order to make the Mango Salsa.  It called for peeled and chopped mango, chopped red bell pepper, cilantro, red onion and lime juice.   After you wash, peel, chop, juice, etc. you mix it all together and chill for an hour or so.    The asparagus was really easy, although this was my first time cooking it and I really didn't know what to do with it.   But - here's a tip:  you can google anything - even "how to cut asparagus"!  Which I did!  I watched a short little video on the proper way to cut asparagus and everything worked out perfectly.    The recipe called for a little olive oil, salt and pepper, lay it on a baking sheet and cook for 10 minutes.   It was delicious!

The family was thrilled that I actually cooked fish.  These are the recipes I usually skip because I'm not a seafood lover.  However, I committed to trying every recipe on the menu and I'm so glad I did.   Everything was delicious and it will probably be something they ask for again.  

I'll try to take some pictures this week as I continue with the menu.   Believe it or not....I'm actually looking forward to cooking tonight!

A Helpful Crew is a Blessing!

I'm so proud of my boys!  Over the weekend I was gone to a homeschool conference in Houston (details to follow in another post) and they were left here with David.   When I came home their rooms were clean, not one dirty dish in the sink, garbage cans were empty and everyone was happy and so was I!  And I must give credit to my loving husband!  He cracks the whip when I'm gone because it's important to him that I come home and have nothing to clean.

David has done this for years!  I don't go away often (I miss my family too much to do "girl" outings), but when I do, he is always faithful about making sure that I come home to a clean house.

I appreciate him so much for that (and many other reasons) because it gives me the freedom to leave the house and not dread coming back.  

So here's to my crew of boys (men, really):  THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU ALL!   You make serving you that much sweeter.

Blessings,

Debbie

On a lighter note.....

 

 
My last post was kind of serious and I don't want to leave for the weekend and not have something happy to say so here goes............

Be blessed today. 

Look around and count your blessings whether it be 

your family, 

friends, 

income, 

food on the table, 

a warm bed, 

central a/c, 

clean water, 

flowers in your garden, 

a Bible, 

a bird on your back porch, 

a loving husband

great kids

chocolate.

Whatever you can find to count as a blessing - do it!

Rejoice in the fact that God is real and He loves you.

Have an awesome weekend!

How do you handle a skeptic?

**This post is directly related to a conversation that my husband had recently at church.  No names will be used, in order to protect the guilty.**

As a veteran homeschooler I am used to hearing alot of negative things about this choice of education and lifestyle that we have chosen.   I've read plenty of other tongue-in-cheek lists from fellow moms who have been on the receiving end of ridiculous comments as well.   But one thing that blows me away, even more than the ignorant comments, is the gall that it takes to speak directly to a homeschooling parent in a negative manner, about the very thing that they believe in.

Case in point - my husband was at church, having a conversation with someone who recently asked us for some information about home education.    A man, not in the conversation but standing nearby, heard what they were saying and started to give the inquiring person an ear full on the "why you shouldn't homeschool."

The great advice being offered was the talking point "that homeschoolers can't read or write".   Sadly the man was referring to a time "long ago" when his wife was teaching Sunday School, and she had some homeschooled children in there who were "way behind" the ps kids in writing.  (Makes you want to say "Is that the best you can come up with?")   I mention the phrase talking point because that is what takes place when the same words are used over and over, by a certain group of people, and it seems that they just copy one another and don't have any original thoughts about the subject.  They just repeat what they've heard, without even investigating whether there is any truth to it or not.

So - let's consider some things regarding these accusations:

Yes - ps kids are taught certain skills in certain grades - whether they are physically or mentally ready or not.   Years ago a random board of people came up with a scope and sequence that dictated who should do what and when it should be done.   Gee.  That's scientific.   They based their charts on what a number of kids in that age group could do and they created a standard that quickly became "law".

Ok, let's consider this for a moment:  How many of your children are exactly alike?  How many of them started talking at exactly the same age?  How many of them have the same talents, the same skills, the same abilities and developed those skills and talents at exactly the same age? 

If you have more than one child, your answer is surely "none"!  

Any parent with more than one child will tell you that by the time the second one came along, they marveled at how different their children were.   By God's almighty hand, each child is unique!

So, why do we expect to shove 25 kids in a classroom, and count on them to be on the same skill level?  It's ridiculous. 

Now, let's consider that this man was telling the truth (and not just repeating nonsense): 
So there were 1-2 kids that were being homeschooled and couldn't write as well or maybe as fast or maybe (this actually happened to my 1st grader at church) a child who needed help with spelling (gasp!).   Is this really a valid reason to lump ALL homeschoolers in a pile and say that ALL homeschooled kids are behind?  No!  It's not valid at all!


I wonder - were the homeschooled kids judged a little more harshly than, let's say, a ps kid that was struggling?  I guarantee it!  Homeschooled kids are watched under a microscope.  One slip up or one struggle and it's an "aha" moment!

Now, let's look at some ps facts that we are all aware of:
There are classrooms full of kids that have been in the system for all their days and are struggling with basic skills.   There are "resource" classes created for all the kids who aren't up to par with the (and I quote with much sarcasm) "gifted and talented" kids (makes my blood boil just saying those words).  And yet, they dare to pick out the one or two kids who have been educated at home, who are struggling?  What hypocrites! 

Kids in public school are labeled, drugged, moved to the front of the class, moved to a "special" class - all because they struggle - and yet, they constantly want to point out the kid taught at home, because he has struggles too. 

It all boils down to this:

Whether in public school, homeschool or private school, there will be kids that struggle.  There will be kids that are amazing in one area, but slower in another area.  There will be kids who need extra help and kids who fly through without much help at all.    The are all "gifted and talented"!!  They are all unique!

The difference is that in the homeschooling world, we recognize that each child is unique and develops at their own pace.   We recognize that each child has their talents and skills in different areas.   We also recognize that there is NO value in creating a classroom of clones that do everything alike and at the same time.  

You see, that's the beauty of teaching your kids at home:  they have the freedom to grow and learn without labels, without being segregated to the "resource" room and made to feel stupid and like an outcast.  Too bad they don't have that privilege at church.  I guess that's why many homeschooling parents choose to forgo the Sunday School route.  Why subject your kids to ridicule and unfair judgment in a place where they should be learning about Jesus, not being examined for their lack of skill. 

So, how do you handle the skeptic?  Honestly?  After 13 years of doing this and listening to rude comments spoken directly to my face, I usually just shake my head and feel sorry for that person and their obvious ignorance.   I am not one to think fast on my feet; my answers usually come much later when I'm at home.  The times that I have spoken back, I usually get so flustered that I can feel the blood rising up my neck.   I would like to say that I give an eloquent, soft-spoken, godly answer and everyone walks away feeling warm and fuzzy, but that would be a lie!

But, I can say with 100% confidence, that I've never gone up to a public school parent and proceeded to tell them what I think of their broken system.   I've never questioned their kid's abilities or academic struggles or their lack of social skills (another talking point)!  

I have friends who have wonderfully talented children in public school and I desire to see those kids grow in Christ and in their futures, just like I desire that same thing for the kids in private school and the ones that homeschool.   I'm not prejudiced!   I love my friends and I love their kids (well most of them:) and if that's where they want to educate their children, then good for them.  It doesn't make us better or worse - just different.   

And that's the point.

Around the House

It's been an eventful last week or so.  We've had a graduation lunch for Ted, a wedding for my niece, and a good friend with open heart surgery.

As you may remember, Ted did not want a graduation party, so Saturday we took him out to lunch and gave him his diploma and a few small gifts.   We had already given him his graduation gift, but I wanted us to give him a few small items that represented David and I and our time with him.   So I gave him a new watch to represent all the "time" we have spent together over these years of homeschooling.

 And David gave him a picture that was taken when Ted was about 3 years old and they were exploring trains together.  David used to take Ted on so many explorations of trains and airplanes, so they have a lot of great memories together.

 Then we gave him his diploma.  This is the cover, which says "To God Alone Be The Glory".   That is absolutely true!  I could not have made it on this journey - parenting or homeschooling - without the hand of God being right there guiding me.   I thank HIM everyday for the privilege of being with my boys in this way.

(I'm not going to show the actual diploma for privacy reasons)

On Sunday we celebrated my niece's wedding, which was alot of fun.   They actually live in Germany (the groom is in the military) so it was nice to share this with them before they had to go home.

 It was a Mexican Catholic wedding so they had Mariachis playing at the reception.   Fun!

On Monday, which was Memorial Day, David was off so we enjoyed a slow day around the house.  Later that night, David grilled chicken and we enjoyed a nice dinner with all the kids.

Tuesday morning we got a call from our friend Brenda, telling us that her husband Eddie was in the hospital and would be having open heart surgery this week.   He has since had the surgery and is recovering nicely, so far.


That call reminded me that we are to hold our plans loosely, as the Lord has his own agenda. 

("In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.")

(Proverbs 16:9)

I wonder what God has on the calender for me today?