Yesterday was wonderful and strangely hard, all at the same time.
David and Collin were on the road by 6:00am, heading to the Texas A&M game in College Station. Ted was up and gone by 9:30am to hang out with Sheri, and I was all alone.
Normally this is a good thing; especially when I just need a little "mom" time or need to finish a project, the bills, etc. But, too much is not my cup of tea!
I didn't have anything on my agenda, such as a great project, and I was determined not to leave the house, so that meant an entire day to just do - whatever. Wow! That felt weird!
I started out by making sure all the front rooms were straightened up and looking nice, then I lit a candle in the diningroom. Well, that took all of 30 minutes, so now what?
I decided to watch a movie, which I never get to do, so I searched the guide on the TV, then searched Netflix, and finally decided on an old movie with Andie McDowell and Liam Neeson called "Deception". It was nice to just sit and watch a movie all the way through, without interruption.
But, then it was over........
So, I grabbed my book about Brenda Warner, and knocked off a few chapters of that.
Then I decided I'd take a short nap so I would be good-to-go when the boys all came home........that lasted about 15 minutes.
Ted called around 3:30 to say he wanted to cook something for us tonight, so I went to the freezer to take out the fish and veggies.
I eventually went outside and watered all the flowers.
Then ..........I can't remember what I did, but I just know that by the time they all walked in around 7:00pm (even later for David and Collin) I was so glad to see them!
Not that I didn't enjoy my down-time, but too much would drive me crazy!
So, I started helping Sheri and Ted in the kitchen and enjoyed my time with them, then David and Collin came home and finally.........
my house was alive again!
"Alone time" may be alright for a few hours, but too much can be hazardous to your heart.
I like my boys and this is where I want them.......sharing my "down-time".
Love you guys!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Better Than A Hallelujah
(after listening and watching the video, just hit your "back" button to
return to my post)
At the Women of Faith conference last week, I heard this song for the first time ever. I don't know how I've missed this song on the radio, except that maybe it was meant to come into my life on that particular weekend, for the simple fact that I needed it then and there.
I've heard some negative opinions about this song, but I "get" the song and I love it.
This song spells out how I've felt at times; unable to do anything but cry out to God in my need for Him. But sometimes the cry isn't done with words; sometimes all you have is the action of doing what's needed at the time. The offering, if you will.
The lyrics just speak of some of the hard times we go through, when we have nothing left in us to give, but the act of what needs to be done. The times (as the lyrics say) when you've been caring for a sick child for days and you're up one more night and all you can do is pour out one more lullaby to soothe your baby's hurts. At that moment, that act is your worship. It's right where God wants you to be at that moment and He sees what you're doing and what you're pouring out. He's sees your sacrifice and he feels your love for his child. And, I believe, He is pleased.
Or in "the tears of shame for what's been done": when we reach the point of brokenness and realization that we need Christ and the salvation He offers and the knowing that we've grieved Him greatly in our sin. At that moment of revelation, we fall on our faces with repentance and our tears pour out like rain; emptying us of guilt and shame, and making room for the forgiveness that's coming through our Lord. What a sweet moment, when God sees our honest heart and the turning away from sin. As a mom, the brokenness and repentance of my children would be sweeter to me than rote praise. When a life is changed and turned toward God, the rejoicing has no end!
"The silence when the words won't come." This is where I've found myself over the past month, praying for my dad. Some moments I would pray for healing; some moments I was praying for God's will. Sometimes I didn't know where the two would meet, and therefore, I wasn't sure what to pray for, but my heart needed to reach out to God on my dad's behalf. So sometimes all I had to offer were my hands and my faith and there were no more words to utter. But, I have no doubt that God knew what the desire of my heart was; without words. After all, He is God.
"Better than a church bell ringing. Better than a choir singing out." Better than the rituals we go through, better than the acts of religious ceremony, better than going through the motions - God is pleased with our acts of love, repentance, sacrifice, and humility, in the trenches of life.
In the times when all we can do is cry out to Him, He comes and comforts us. He whispers to our soul that we can go one more night, we can fix one more meal, we can pray one more prayer, we can do one more than we thought we could, because He's there, hearing our cries, seeing our tears.
And, in our pain we feel His presence and then we rejoice and praise and give Him all he deserves.
Then, there is the Hallelujah.
"For he has not despised or disdained the
suffering of the afflicted one:
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help."
(Psalm 22:24)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Women of Faith - A Needed Reprieve
A few months ago, I received a small envelope in the mail that contained a little gift from God - 2 tickets to the Women of Faith conference in San Antonio.
When I opened the envelope, all I found were the two tickets and an information sheet on parking, etc. I was a little confused and even questioned whether I had ordered the tickets so long ago that I forgot or if, perhaps, someone had sent them to me as a gift. Either way - I now had two tickets and no idea how I got them!
I waited a week or so, to see if maybe someone would ask me if I received them, but no one came forward. Then I put a little snippet of a status on FaceBook to see if that would generate a response; but it didn't.
After a few weeks of no answers, I began to wonder if they were "real" or maybe just an advertisement in the form of a ticket. I honestly didn't know why I would just receive this gift in the mail. So, I picked up the phone and called the Women of Faith number and lo and behold, found my answer! (Why didn't I think of that sooner?)
It turns out, I was given two tickets because I'm a blogger!! What a great gift! Apparently they knew I would come home and blog about my experience (yep) so they gave me free tickets and here I am!
However, as all my friends know, my life has been turned upside down lately because of my dad being in the hospital. We have been traveling 600 miles round trip, every week, for 4 weeks straight now, and making commitments has been hard. But, I love Women of Faith, so I decided to make plans to attend and just see if it would all work out in my favor.
First step - call Jessica - my awesome friend - and ask her if she would want to be a part of a crazy plan. She lives in the valley and would drive up to Corpus, pick me up from the hospital, we would drive to S.A. and attend the conference, eat Mexican food, and sleep. Thank goodness she was in need of some girl time and refreshing too, so she was on board with the crazy plan!
The conference was October 21-22, and my birthday was the 20th. I got to spend my birthday driving 300 miles to the hospital, then sitting at the hospital, then out to dinner with my aunt, David and Collin, then back to the hospital. My gift was that my dad opened his eyes about 10:30pm and saw that I was there. That was the highlight of my day!
The next day, Collin and I went back to the hospital while David went to work at his Corpus office. We were there until noon, sitting with my stepmom Ruby. When Jessica called to say she was down in the waiting room, I was so torn about leaving. My dad was stable, but not great. They had put the ventilator back on while we were there on my birthday because he just couldn't breath well. I hated to leave Ruby alone, but there really wasn't much for me to do. I knew David and Collin would check on her and my dad, later that day, but it wasn't the same as being there.
However, there was a part of me that had no doubt that God was going to show up at WOF and I needed HIM to do just that! I needed to laugh and forget about the past month; even for just 24 hours. So, off I went.
And sure enough - God was there! He was there in the beautiful music of Amy Grant, Sandi Patty, and Mandisa. He was in the testimonies of Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meberg, Lisa Whelchel, and Brenda Warner. He spoke to me through each lady and he refreshed me through laughter and time with my wonderful friend. Thank you, Lord! I needed that!
That conference will be a bright spot when I look back over this past month. I wasn't sure how it would all pan out, but God knew, and He gave me the opportunity and I'm so thankful. He knew when He sent the tickets, that I would need all of that, at that exact time. So I give Him all the praise!
And a big THANKS to Women of Faith for being led to give me two seats in a room full of thousands. It may have seemed like a small gesture for them, but to me, it was huge! Thanks WOF!
And thanks to Jessica for always going that extra mile, literally, to do things with me. I count it a privilege to have you in my life (12 years now).
And, to my awesome husband David. There aren't enough words to thank you for all the times you've driven me hundreds of miles to see my family. And for the times that you've said "Go! You deserve this!" and sent me on my way to have a girl's day, just for me. You are awesome and I adore you!
What a blessing to have people in your life that love you and care about you. And what a blessing to have a living God, who is real, who knows what you need before you need it and sees to it that you get it!
I am blessed!
When I opened the envelope, all I found were the two tickets and an information sheet on parking, etc. I was a little confused and even questioned whether I had ordered the tickets so long ago that I forgot or if, perhaps, someone had sent them to me as a gift. Either way - I now had two tickets and no idea how I got them!
I waited a week or so, to see if maybe someone would ask me if I received them, but no one came forward. Then I put a little snippet of a status on FaceBook to see if that would generate a response; but it didn't.
After a few weeks of no answers, I began to wonder if they were "real" or maybe just an advertisement in the form of a ticket. I honestly didn't know why I would just receive this gift in the mail. So, I picked up the phone and called the Women of Faith number and lo and behold, found my answer! (Why didn't I think of that sooner?)
It turns out, I was given two tickets because I'm a blogger!! What a great gift! Apparently they knew I would come home and blog about my experience (yep) so they gave me free tickets and here I am!
However, as all my friends know, my life has been turned upside down lately because of my dad being in the hospital. We have been traveling 600 miles round trip, every week, for 4 weeks straight now, and making commitments has been hard. But, I love Women of Faith, so I decided to make plans to attend and just see if it would all work out in my favor.
First step - call Jessica - my awesome friend - and ask her if she would want to be a part of a crazy plan. She lives in the valley and would drive up to Corpus, pick me up from the hospital, we would drive to S.A. and attend the conference, eat Mexican food, and sleep. Thank goodness she was in need of some girl time and refreshing too, so she was on board with the crazy plan!
The conference was October 21-22, and my birthday was the 20th. I got to spend my birthday driving 300 miles to the hospital, then sitting at the hospital, then out to dinner with my aunt, David and Collin, then back to the hospital. My gift was that my dad opened his eyes about 10:30pm and saw that I was there. That was the highlight of my day!
The next day, Collin and I went back to the hospital while David went to work at his Corpus office. We were there until noon, sitting with my stepmom Ruby. When Jessica called to say she was down in the waiting room, I was so torn about leaving. My dad was stable, but not great. They had put the ventilator back on while we were there on my birthday because he just couldn't breath well. I hated to leave Ruby alone, but there really wasn't much for me to do. I knew David and Collin would check on her and my dad, later that day, but it wasn't the same as being there.
However, there was a part of me that had no doubt that God was going to show up at WOF and I needed HIM to do just that! I needed to laugh and forget about the past month; even for just 24 hours. So, off I went.
And sure enough - God was there! He was there in the beautiful music of Amy Grant, Sandi Patty, and Mandisa. He was in the testimonies of Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meberg, Lisa Whelchel, and Brenda Warner. He spoke to me through each lady and he refreshed me through laughter and time with my wonderful friend. Thank you, Lord! I needed that!
That conference will be a bright spot when I look back over this past month. I wasn't sure how it would all pan out, but God knew, and He gave me the opportunity and I'm so thankful. He knew when He sent the tickets, that I would need all of that, at that exact time. So I give Him all the praise!
And a big THANKS to Women of Faith for being led to give me two seats in a room full of thousands. It may have seemed like a small gesture for them, but to me, it was huge! Thanks WOF!
And thanks to Jessica for always going that extra mile, literally, to do things with me. I count it a privilege to have you in my life (12 years now).
And, to my awesome husband David. There aren't enough words to thank you for all the times you've driven me hundreds of miles to see my family. And for the times that you've said "Go! You deserve this!" and sent me on my way to have a girl's day, just for me. You are awesome and I adore you!
What a blessing to have people in your life that love you and care about you. And what a blessing to have a living God, who is real, who knows what you need before you need it and sees to it that you get it!
I am blessed!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
What Season Are You In?
Growing up, I never heard the term "seasons" as related to life; only weather. But, life is full of "seasons" and entering a new one can be challenging and exciting, all at the same time.
My mental recollection of "seasons" starts when I got married. David and I were young and free (only in the sense that we didn't have kids). We worked hard, both went to night school (I guess we weren't that free), hardly ever ate out, watched our favorite shows every night and traveled when we wanted.
Then, four years later, we entered the season of children. Oh, what a blessing that was! For the first 5-6 years of Ted's life, my days were spent caring for my baby, my house, my husband, and trying to make a small salary stretch throughout the month. Life was simple and sometimes scary (2 layoffs, another child, our first year of homeschooling, ahhhh!).
When baby #2 came along (Collin), life had a faster pace in the way that I was homeschooling Ted, chasing Collin (6 years apart in age), and praying alot! When Collin was two, was when God led me to write and teach my Bible study "Building Your House". That was a special, and yet stressful year, but God's hand was on me every moment.
The following year, God led us away from the church David grew up in and attended for 35 years. This was also the only church I had ever been a member of. This was a difficult decision, yet so freeing in the sense that we were no longer under the thumb of people that thought they were above us spiritually. (If you are ever in a church like that, LEAVE!) We found a loving church, where condemnation was NOT the norm and we settled in and have been blessed every since then.
Ted's middle school years and high school years were busy, busy, busy, as most teen's lives are. Too much to recount, but definitely a "season" to remember!
Now I find myself in a new season - one that has me pulled in many emotional directions.
I've been thrust into the time of my life where parents are getting older and having more issues. Collin is just now entering into the teen world (God help me - literally!), and my 18 year old son is embarking on some amazing opportunities.
I stood in the doorway of Ted's room Saturday, with tears in my eyes, as I watched him load up his musical equipment to take to the studio. What would Ted's room be without guitars on the walls, keyboard, MAC, mics, cords, late night recording sessions and clothes everywhere? (Well, I have no doubt the clothes will still be there). I felt silly because, afterall, it was just his equipment, not him, but it was a taste of what's just around the corner; my first born has become a man and won't be here forever. Is this mother sad? Yes. Am I proud? So proud and amazed at God's hand. But, it's a season that I dread and yet, rejoice in, all at the same time.
Here is this young man, who has always had a calling on his life and he has pursued it with passion and intention. He is entering a new season as well.
That leaves me with my precious Collin. Wild, hilarious, observant, insanely compulsive and stubborn and yet, tender and sweet. My goodness, God packaged him up with lots to offer!
I'm also in the season where I'm seeing the downside to living 6 hours away from my parents. Thank God I homeschool because I can't imagine having to leave my kids in school while I spent hours at the hospital, 300 miles away! What a blessing it is, to be able to have my kids with me, and for them to know that education can be caring for someone in their time of need. It's not all about the books.
My marriage is blessed and solid and my life is sweet. My friends are precious and needed and I covet the time with each one. God is still God and He's still on his throne and still the Savior of my soul. That season will never end and for that, I am thankful.
Love each season you're in because the next one is just around the corner. It may be better or it may be a challenge, but either way, God will use it for His glory and that's what matters most.
Be blessed today my friends,
Debbie
My mental recollection of "seasons" starts when I got married. David and I were young and free (only in the sense that we didn't have kids). We worked hard, both went to night school (I guess we weren't that free), hardly ever ate out, watched our favorite shows every night and traveled when we wanted.
Then, four years later, we entered the season of children. Oh, what a blessing that was! For the first 5-6 years of Ted's life, my days were spent caring for my baby, my house, my husband, and trying to make a small salary stretch throughout the month. Life was simple and sometimes scary (2 layoffs, another child, our first year of homeschooling, ahhhh!).
When baby #2 came along (Collin), life had a faster pace in the way that I was homeschooling Ted, chasing Collin (6 years apart in age), and praying alot! When Collin was two, was when God led me to write and teach my Bible study "Building Your House". That was a special, and yet stressful year, but God's hand was on me every moment.
The following year, God led us away from the church David grew up in and attended for 35 years. This was also the only church I had ever been a member of. This was a difficult decision, yet so freeing in the sense that we were no longer under the thumb of people that thought they were above us spiritually. (If you are ever in a church like that, LEAVE!) We found a loving church, where condemnation was NOT the norm and we settled in and have been blessed every since then.
Ted's middle school years and high school years were busy, busy, busy, as most teen's lives are. Too much to recount, but definitely a "season" to remember!
Now I find myself in a new season - one that has me pulled in many emotional directions.
I've been thrust into the time of my life where parents are getting older and having more issues. Collin is just now entering into the teen world (God help me - literally!), and my 18 year old son is embarking on some amazing opportunities.
I stood in the doorway of Ted's room Saturday, with tears in my eyes, as I watched him load up his musical equipment to take to the studio. What would Ted's room be without guitars on the walls, keyboard, MAC, mics, cords, late night recording sessions and clothes everywhere? (Well, I have no doubt the clothes will still be there). I felt silly because, afterall, it was just his equipment, not him, but it was a taste of what's just around the corner; my first born has become a man and won't be here forever. Is this mother sad? Yes. Am I proud? So proud and amazed at God's hand. But, it's a season that I dread and yet, rejoice in, all at the same time.
Here is this young man, who has always had a calling on his life and he has pursued it with passion and intention. He is entering a new season as well.
That leaves me with my precious Collin. Wild, hilarious, observant, insanely compulsive and stubborn and yet, tender and sweet. My goodness, God packaged him up with lots to offer!
I'm also in the season where I'm seeing the downside to living 6 hours away from my parents. Thank God I homeschool because I can't imagine having to leave my kids in school while I spent hours at the hospital, 300 miles away! What a blessing it is, to be able to have my kids with me, and for them to know that education can be caring for someone in their time of need. It's not all about the books.
My marriage is blessed and solid and my life is sweet. My friends are precious and needed and I covet the time with each one. God is still God and He's still on his throne and still the Savior of my soul. That season will never end and for that, I am thankful.
Love each season you're in because the next one is just around the corner. It may be better or it may be a challenge, but either way, God will use it for His glory and that's what matters most.
"Better to be one day in his courts, than a thousand elsewhere."
Be blessed today my friends,
Debbie
Monday, October 17, 2011
Can You Stand to be Sharpened?
Over the weekend I was reminded (through conversation with some friends) of the scripture in Proverbs 27:17:
"As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another."
This concept has stuck in my head since then and it's caused me to think about different types of friendships and how this verse applies.
Not every friendship can be the type to survive the sharpening. It all depends on whether or not the Holy Spirit is involved.
When there is a friendship of "three" ( you, your friend, and God), the sharpening may hurt, but it can be received with the right intention - in love. When the friendship has no spiritual thread, sharpening comments will be taken as condemnation.
I have a small number of friends who sharpen me and I, them. The dynamics are unique. When you are connected to certain friends by the Holy Spirit, you can receive their "suggestions" or "correction" as truth that is for your own good. Sometimes it's still hard to swallow, but if given thought and prayer, it can make a difference in your life. It can change you for the better.
On the other hand, the majority of a woman's friendships aren't going to have that deep thread that binds, and therefore, you get the flesh speaking, which is usually not productive. This is why women have a hard time getting along! So - word of caution - only speak what God leads you to speak, as far as correction to a friend. It can be dangerous, otherwise!
In the side notes of my Bible, near Proverbs 27:17, there is a commentary that summed up a different kind of person: one who is too self-reliant and doesn't feel they need sharpening. Rather than paraphrase, I will just quote the content:
"In Ecclesiastes, King Solomon reflects on the value of true friendship. "Two are better than one," he says, and the person who tries to forge through life alone is to be pitied (Ecc. 4:9-12). Those who isolate themselves or become too self-reliant only make life harder and put themselves in danger. On top of that, they miss out on the incalculable commodity of other people's wisdom and experience. Humans are not meant to figure everything out for themselves but to put their collective heads together and help each other deal with whatever life presents. In the process of discussion and problem solving, valuable constructive criticism and differences of opinion can sometimes make the sparks fly, even among close friends. But the results of "sharpening" each other through this process are greater wisdom, better decisions and encouraging camaraderie."
Well said!
So are you open to being sharpened? If not, you may be robbing yourself of growth and friendship, not to mention you might have a pride issue.
Everyone needs a friend that loves them enough to speak (gentle) truth to their heart. If you don't have that - you're missing out.
Until next time.......
Blessings!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
My Life Lately
The past 3 weeks have been unbelievable. David and I have had to make 3 trips to Corpus and numerous trips to the ER for parents. Not only has my dad been in the hospital for 3 weeks, but his mom went to the ER the first Friday night and his dad went the second Friday night. Thankfully, they were treated and released, but what a ride!
I don't want to sit on this subject too long today because my heart is yearning to get back to this blog and write about other things. I need to write about other things! I feel like I've been in a hospital bubble all this time and I'm ready to get out!
My dad is making progress but is still in ICU. We almost lost him a week ago, but he pulled through. For a body that has been beaten down, his inner strength is amazing. I believe prayer has been a major part of him taking tiny steps toward recovery, but he's not there yet. I would appreciate the prayers of everyone for my dad JIM.
My stepmom Ruby needs prayer for strength. She has been at my dad's side all these weeks; watching over him, guiding the doctors and nurses as they try to treat his various problems. Her home away from home has been the conference room on floor 4, right next to ICU. What amazing dedication I've seen in her. Please pray for Ruby to have the strength to endure.
I will update here and on Facebook as he makes a recovery (faith), but I hope to get back to writing about other things as well.
I've got that burning inside me that a writer gets when she needs to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).
So come back and read some more soon.
In the meantime........
God bless you all and the ones you love.
I don't want to sit on this subject too long today because my heart is yearning to get back to this blog and write about other things. I need to write about other things! I feel like I've been in a hospital bubble all this time and I'm ready to get out!
My dad is making progress but is still in ICU. We almost lost him a week ago, but he pulled through. For a body that has been beaten down, his inner strength is amazing. I believe prayer has been a major part of him taking tiny steps toward recovery, but he's not there yet. I would appreciate the prayers of everyone for my dad JIM.
My stepmom Ruby needs prayer for strength. She has been at my dad's side all these weeks; watching over him, guiding the doctors and nurses as they try to treat his various problems. Her home away from home has been the conference room on floor 4, right next to ICU. What amazing dedication I've seen in her. Please pray for Ruby to have the strength to endure.
I will update here and on Facebook as he makes a recovery (faith), but I hope to get back to writing about other things as well.
I've got that burning inside me that a writer gets when she needs to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).
So come back and read some more soon.
In the meantime........
God bless you all and the ones you love.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
My Dad -Blessings in the Waiting Room
I don't know what it is about sitting in a hospital waiting room that wears you out, but it really does take it's toll on you. I felt like a caged animal at times; needing to get outside and get some fresh air. However, there's something that holds you there and makes it hard to walk away.
This past weekend I spent about 26 hours sitting in the ICU waiting room with my family. And, surprisingly, there were some great blessings experienced there.
For one thing - all of us girls were together - which is rare except for holidays, and that's not always a for sure thing. With my sisters spread from Corpus to San Antonio and me here in South East Texas, it's hard to coordinate reunions where everyone is present at the same time. However, all of us made it down to be with my dad and that was a real blessing for me.
Honestly, I haven't laughed that much in a long time. I'm not sure if we were all delirious from lack of sleep or what, but it seemed we were always laughing about something.
We laughed about basically taking over the entire waiting room, which had about 40 chairs. We had our stuff spread out everywhere.
We laughed when Ruby came out of ICU calling one of the nurses a Nazi and then laughed even harder when the nurse accused her of saying a "four-letter word". (You probably had to be there.)
We laughed when I ended up on the wrong floor and kept texting my sister Tiffany, telling her I was in the waiting room and asking where everyone was. She kept telling me she was right across the hall in the conference room but I couldn't see her. I tried the handle to the conference room (thankfully it was locked!) and thought they were playing a cruel joke on me. Turns out - I was on the 3rd floor instead of the 4th floor! She kept looking in the waiting room every time I would text her saying that's where I was and she couldn't figure out why I would say I was there, but wasn't! That was hilarious! Finally, I called her and she said "Are you on the 4th floor?" At that very moment I looked up and noticed I had been on the 3rd floor the whole time!
We laughed over the number of trips we made to Whataburger and how we filled numerous trash cans to the top with paper goods from there. (I never want to eat Whataburger again, by the way!)
We laughed at all the things my dad would say when one of us would go into his room. He has always been a cut-up and little does he know - he kept us in stitches the whole time. Even in his weakened state, he would tell us what to do and he expected us to do it right then! Some of it was legitimate and some of it was not, but he blessed me just by being spunky, even when he was lying in that bed. Those moments, I will treasure always.
My second day there, I was privileged enough to be in the waiting room with 3 of my dad's brothers. My Uncles Ronnie, Weldon, and Gerald. What a bunch! Collin was in there with me, so after a while, I asked them some questions and it didn't take much to get the stories going. Oh my goodness! We sat there for over an hour listening to stories of their younger years; terrorizing their small town, racing, fighting, going hunting and becoming the hunted. There were 7 brothers all together (and 2 sisters) and they were always into mischief. I laughed and laughed at their stories; some of which I've heard before from my dad. I plan on documenting those soon, so I will have them to look back on. What a blessing that was for me, to sit with these men and have them tell me stories about my dad's history (good and bad). They remembered them like they were in the recent past. Amazing.
On the 3rd day, it was time for my family to go home. My dad needed to rest and we needed to be home for a few days. I was so torn leaving that hospital. I felt like a mom, leaving a child and not knowing when I would get to come back to pick it up. It was heartbreaking for me. It actually brought back a familiar feeling of when I was young and my parents were divorced. I was a daddy's girl and would cry for hours when I had to leave my dad. He was my hero and I loved being with him. Yesterday I had that same feeling of being torn from his side and yet knowing that I needed to go. It was a sad, sad day.
Today I am better and I've been able to reflect on all the blessings that took place while I was there.
My sisters are so precious to me and I miss being a part of their everyday lives, but I'm going to treasure the time we had together in the waiting room.
Sometimes blessings take place in the strangest of circumstances.
This was one of those times.
This past weekend I spent about 26 hours sitting in the ICU waiting room with my family. And, surprisingly, there were some great blessings experienced there.
For one thing - all of us girls were together - which is rare except for holidays, and that's not always a for sure thing. With my sisters spread from Corpus to San Antonio and me here in South East Texas, it's hard to coordinate reunions where everyone is present at the same time. However, all of us made it down to be with my dad and that was a real blessing for me.
Honestly, I haven't laughed that much in a long time. I'm not sure if we were all delirious from lack of sleep or what, but it seemed we were always laughing about something.
We laughed about basically taking over the entire waiting room, which had about 40 chairs. We had our stuff spread out everywhere.
We laughed when Ruby came out of ICU calling one of the nurses a Nazi and then laughed even harder when the nurse accused her of saying a "four-letter word". (You probably had to be there.)
We laughed when I ended up on the wrong floor and kept texting my sister Tiffany, telling her I was in the waiting room and asking where everyone was. She kept telling me she was right across the hall in the conference room but I couldn't see her. I tried the handle to the conference room (thankfully it was locked!) and thought they were playing a cruel joke on me. Turns out - I was on the 3rd floor instead of the 4th floor! She kept looking in the waiting room every time I would text her saying that's where I was and she couldn't figure out why I would say I was there, but wasn't! That was hilarious! Finally, I called her and she said "Are you on the 4th floor?" At that very moment I looked up and noticed I had been on the 3rd floor the whole time!
We laughed over the number of trips we made to Whataburger and how we filled numerous trash cans to the top with paper goods from there. (I never want to eat Whataburger again, by the way!)
We laughed at all the things my dad would say when one of us would go into his room. He has always been a cut-up and little does he know - he kept us in stitches the whole time. Even in his weakened state, he would tell us what to do and he expected us to do it right then! Some of it was legitimate and some of it was not, but he blessed me just by being spunky, even when he was lying in that bed. Those moments, I will treasure always.
My second day there, I was privileged enough to be in the waiting room with 3 of my dad's brothers. My Uncles Ronnie, Weldon, and Gerald. What a bunch! Collin was in there with me, so after a while, I asked them some questions and it didn't take much to get the stories going. Oh my goodness! We sat there for over an hour listening to stories of their younger years; terrorizing their small town, racing, fighting, going hunting and becoming the hunted. There were 7 brothers all together (and 2 sisters) and they were always into mischief. I laughed and laughed at their stories; some of which I've heard before from my dad. I plan on documenting those soon, so I will have them to look back on. What a blessing that was for me, to sit with these men and have them tell me stories about my dad's history (good and bad). They remembered them like they were in the recent past. Amazing.
On the 3rd day, it was time for my family to go home. My dad needed to rest and we needed to be home for a few days. I was so torn leaving that hospital. I felt like a mom, leaving a child and not knowing when I would get to come back to pick it up. It was heartbreaking for me. It actually brought back a familiar feeling of when I was young and my parents were divorced. I was a daddy's girl and would cry for hours when I had to leave my dad. He was my hero and I loved being with him. Yesterday I had that same feeling of being torn from his side and yet knowing that I needed to go. It was a sad, sad day.
Today I am better and I've been able to reflect on all the blessings that took place while I was there.
My sisters are so precious to me and I miss being a part of their everyday lives, but I'm going to treasure the time we had together in the waiting room.
Sometimes blessings take place in the strangest of circumstances.
This was one of those times.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My Dad
The past few weeks have been really hard. My dad has been in the hospital, in a "rehab" facility, back to the hospital, now ICU. His body is so thin and weak from illness that he has aged 20 years right before our eyes.
He originally went in because his sodium level dropped so low that he was literally losing his mind. This is one of the results of your sodium reaching a dangerous level. He was hallucinating and becoming weaker by the moment. After 4 days in the hospital, they were able to get his levels back to normal and convince my stepmom Ruby, that he was ok for release, as long as she agreed to send him to a "rehab" facility for two weeks, to strengthen him enough to go home. Of course she agreed. She wanted him home as soon as possible. Looking back now, we believe they released him too soon. I'm also starting to think he developed pneumonia during that first stay, but I'm only guessing.
For the next few days, while waiting on all the discharge papers and prep work to be done in order to release him, Ruby researched, inquired, and took advice on what facility would be the best to take him to. Unfortunately, if you've never actually put a loved one in a facility and actually witnessed the level of effort and care that is shown to the patients, you probably won't have an accurate recommendation to give.
Going off a recommendation, Ruby chose a facility that was supposed to be clean, close to my younger sister who could check on him throughout the day, and have a rehab set-up, so they could work with him and build back his strength. So a few days later, they transported my dad to this place where, we hoped, they would rehabilitate him so he could go home.
Unfortunately, this was not the case. Within 5-6 days of being there, he developed a bladder infection, wasn't fed properly, developed fever, and became very sick. The nurses were lazy and disrespectful and overall, it turned out to be a detriment to his recovery. So much for recommendations.
So back to the hospital he went and the next thing we knew, he was headed for ICU isolation. And that's where he's been since Sunday, October 2nd.
They finally came in on Tuesday and told Ruby that he has pneumonia and still has the bladder infection, which must have been pretty severe. So now it's just a waiting game; hoping and praying they are able to clear his lungs and nurse him back to health.
After being there since Sunday, David and I and the kids decided to come home for a few days and take care of things here.
Leaving him was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but after days in the waiting room, I needed to get out of there and do something productive.
I have some happier things to write about, but I'll save that for another post.
In the meantime, prayers are greatly appreciated.
He originally went in because his sodium level dropped so low that he was literally losing his mind. This is one of the results of your sodium reaching a dangerous level. He was hallucinating and becoming weaker by the moment. After 4 days in the hospital, they were able to get his levels back to normal and convince my stepmom Ruby, that he was ok for release, as long as she agreed to send him to a "rehab" facility for two weeks, to strengthen him enough to go home. Of course she agreed. She wanted him home as soon as possible. Looking back now, we believe they released him too soon. I'm also starting to think he developed pneumonia during that first stay, but I'm only guessing.
For the next few days, while waiting on all the discharge papers and prep work to be done in order to release him, Ruby researched, inquired, and took advice on what facility would be the best to take him to. Unfortunately, if you've never actually put a loved one in a facility and actually witnessed the level of effort and care that is shown to the patients, you probably won't have an accurate recommendation to give.
Going off a recommendation, Ruby chose a facility that was supposed to be clean, close to my younger sister who could check on him throughout the day, and have a rehab set-up, so they could work with him and build back his strength. So a few days later, they transported my dad to this place where, we hoped, they would rehabilitate him so he could go home.
Unfortunately, this was not the case. Within 5-6 days of being there, he developed a bladder infection, wasn't fed properly, developed fever, and became very sick. The nurses were lazy and disrespectful and overall, it turned out to be a detriment to his recovery. So much for recommendations.
So back to the hospital he went and the next thing we knew, he was headed for ICU isolation. And that's where he's been since Sunday, October 2nd.
They finally came in on Tuesday and told Ruby that he has pneumonia and still has the bladder infection, which must have been pretty severe. So now it's just a waiting game; hoping and praying they are able to clear his lungs and nurse him back to health.
After being there since Sunday, David and I and the kids decided to come home for a few days and take care of things here.
Leaving him was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but after days in the waiting room, I needed to get out of there and do something productive.
I have some happier things to write about, but I'll save that for another post.
In the meantime, prayers are greatly appreciated.
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